Write Your Wedding Vows in 5 Easy Steps

By: Melissa Lim | November 01, 2019 | in Planning Tips

Writing your own vows – finding the right words – may not be the easiest feat, and writer’s block is terrible (trust us, we truly understand). But overwhelming as it can be, it’s well worth it when you’re standing at the altar. Your wedding vow is the most important element of your wedding – it’s the heartfelt sharing, giving guests a peek of your love story and your promises to your happily ever after. These sacred words will give meaning to everything else on your wedding day and if you’re up for the challenge, we’re here to help you write the most memorable words!

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1. Inspiration Hunting


Read, read and read. That’s the best advice we offer to kickstart the process of writing your vows. Be open to the inspiration all around you – you might be surprised with the sentiments you find to express your thoughts. Poetry, songs, movies are great sources of inspirations for something romantic. Know of a romantic scene your spouse adores? Then, it’s time to rewatch that one! (You’re guaranteed to make the scene even special now)

You can also approach a traditional wedding vow, according to the faith you practise. Once you have gathered up your bits and bobs of inspiration, consider what draws you to those vows – the style and tone. Have you seen our guide on beautiful wedding vows?

2. Tone & Format for Waterworks

Pixel Tree Studio

Romantic or humorous? Sentimental or poetic? Decide how you want your vows to come across. You can choose to write the vows together or separately. Although the both of you don’t have to have the exact same tone, your vows won’t meld together if one of you go for swooning romance while the other chose gleeful humour.

Next, decide on a format or structure. For example, you can have the same opening or closing line, “Thank you for wanting to be with me forever”. Decide whether you will write your vows together or separately. Will you keep the vow a surprise until the big day or share your thoughts during the process and compare notes with your partner? If you want your wedding vow to be a complete surprise, then read it to a trusted friend - just so you can get the feedback you need.

On a side note, use humour wisely – you’re making a lifelong commitment so there should be a serious undertone too.

3. Listing Your Thoughts

Nick Tay Photography

Sit down with a nice glass of merlot and take a walk down memory lane. Try recalling all of those “firsts” you have experienced in your relationship – first meeting, first date, first trip and etc. Think of the little things that your beloved does to make you happy. You don’t have to put everything into sentences immediately – jot down all of these precious moments.

If you still find yourself in a hitch, try asking yourself these – what is the greatest thing about the person you are marrying? When did you realise you were in love? How has he changed the view of your world? What do you miss when you’re apart from each other? Let the feelings flow and the vows will likely follow too! Write down the thoughts that surface.

Now that you have a list, it’s time to pick your favourites. Wedding vows are relatively short – try sticking to one or two meaningful memories. On top of that, express your gratitude for everything your spouse has given you!

4. Write Away


Writing a vow is like writing a love letter (thinking this way helps to calm the nerves). Keep things simple and doable. While you can write on and on about how much you love your wife, keep it short and sweet. Also take out anything too cryptic or embarrassing – you have guests!

You may have to sit with this for a few days, so don’t leave it until the last minute! (Don’t procrastinate!) Go through your first draft, read through and edit – keep on refining it until you have the best version.

Furthermore, they’re called vows for a reason, so the promises are the key aspect of a wedding vow. Sprinkle in promises you want to make on your wedding day! For example, “I promise I’ll always cherish you”. For every “big picture” promise, you can add in a specific one – “I promise to give you the remote on the days you want to watch your chick flick.”

5. Practice Makes Perfect

Jenz & K Productions

Practice out loud (seriously). Practise in front of a mirror – it may sound awkward, but practising is the best way to prep you for the big day! Listen to yourself and improve – cut down super long sentences or eliminate tongue twisters. Ask a friend to listen if you think you need a second opinion.

A meaningful vow is not a perfect delivery of it, but the emotions that drive it. Speak from your heart – it’s your wedding, you’re allowed to laugh or tear up. You don’t want to rush through your vows. So, take it slow and focus on your pauses and intonation.

PS, make a fresh copy of your vows for the ceremony – don’t pull out your crumpled drafts (the focus will be the words, but aesthetics matter too)!

These are the tips and tricks in writing a wonderful wedding vow. Don’t stress too much over writing your wedding vows. You don’t have to suddenly become a wordsmith to create memorable vows – they are already meaningful. Because you wrote them.

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